Tuesday, February 28, 2006
mundane, but magnificent
This is just a place for me to ramble. For those who find and want to read it, that's okay...but just a place to talk about the day...try to get back on track with priorities. Stuff I don't particularly care to be read or not, but it's here for those who also struggle getting some goals accomplished.
Today...I pretty much blew today off as a play day. Why? I don't know...too much focus on responsibility and goals lately I suppose. Just needed a day to do something fun and accomplish something.
So, I remodeled my blog.
I could see it wearing on the kids, though. It takes so much mental focus to do all I want to do with it. So, balance still something I need to be better at, but am not good at. I do well when I can focus on one thing until it is pretty much done...but if I take a break, I can't get back at it. When I'm in the storm, it doesn't seem so bad, but the minute I rest, I don't want to get my way back into the "eye" again.
I did burn all the trash today, explored outside, fixed the fence in three places, got trash ready for pickup, cleaned up the Lego zone of 5 trillion teeny legos, made a few ministry calls, and went to the grocery. A productive day, but I was just mentally absorbed more than I want to be. I seem to survive the mundane of motherhood by keeping myself mentally absorbed.
I really wish I could just enjoy it...but it's hard after nine years.
We did learn the days of the week last week together.
I miss my kids...even though I am not everything I want to be for them. I love them to peices. So...there is my confession. Not perfect, but loving it.
My husband crossed paths with a decorator today. Perhaps it is time to call in the troops. I just have no idea what God is freeing me to do with the house. I want it to feel tasteful and well done, but comfortable and normal-looking for anyone who enters.
Today, I feel joy. In daffodils, and forsynthia trying to bloom and 68 degrees.
I feel joy in calls from friends, and freedom, and similar paths, though different.
I feel the dance. The dance of the body, trying to hear, work together, listen to "the head", minister.
It is good.
Me
Today...I pretty much blew today off as a play day. Why? I don't know...too much focus on responsibility and goals lately I suppose. Just needed a day to do something fun and accomplish something.
So, I remodeled my blog.
I could see it wearing on the kids, though. It takes so much mental focus to do all I want to do with it. So, balance still something I need to be better at, but am not good at. I do well when I can focus on one thing until it is pretty much done...but if I take a break, I can't get back at it. When I'm in the storm, it doesn't seem so bad, but the minute I rest, I don't want to get my way back into the "eye" again.
I did burn all the trash today, explored outside, fixed the fence in three places, got trash ready for pickup, cleaned up the Lego zone of 5 trillion teeny legos, made a few ministry calls, and went to the grocery. A productive day, but I was just mentally absorbed more than I want to be. I seem to survive the mundane of motherhood by keeping myself mentally absorbed.
I really wish I could just enjoy it...but it's hard after nine years.
We did learn the days of the week last week together.
I miss my kids...even though I am not everything I want to be for them. I love them to peices. So...there is my confession. Not perfect, but loving it.
My husband crossed paths with a decorator today. Perhaps it is time to call in the troops. I just have no idea what God is freeing me to do with the house. I want it to feel tasteful and well done, but comfortable and normal-looking for anyone who enters.
Today, I feel joy. In daffodils, and forsynthia trying to bloom and 68 degrees.
I feel joy in calls from friends, and freedom, and similar paths, though different.
I feel the dance. The dance of the body, trying to hear, work together, listen to "the head", minister.
It is good.
Me
// posted by Joan @ 28.2.06 
